Overview

A Sassy, Shady, Mariah-Inspired Christmas Parody for Adults Who Love Campy Holiday HumorMariah doesn't want much for Christmas this year, which is the only reason you made the list at all.She doesn't need presents.She doesn't want sparkle.She's not even trying for magic.Instead, she's settling (heavily, dramatically, and with slight regret) for you - complete with your gaping glizzy hole, and the average package you bring her.Told in short, snappy rhyme stanzas, this adult satire delivers: ✨ Mariah-level diva shade✨ Campy LGBTQ-friendly holiday humor✨ Playful reader-roasting and festive pettiness✨ A picture-book style that looks wholesome but reads hilariously shady✨ Perfect parody energy for fans of humor, sass, and holiday chaosWhether you're buying it for yourself, gifting it to a friend who needs a laugh, or bringing it to a White Elephant party guaranteed to spiral, this hilarious Christmas send-up is the perfect blend of festive, funny, and fabulously unbothered.