Thawing A.C. Nielsen

THAWING A.C. NIELSEN A new humorous 5-stars satire about the clash between cryonics science and the narcissists of reality TV, believe it or not, awaits you in the medical mystery "Thawing A.C. Nielsen"! Pod after pod of frozen people, Two outrageous reality TV superstars, A slacker doctor in orange Crocs, An ancient, crazy millionaire actress, A guinea pig named Mr. T, Two randy Irish folk singers- How in the world will a talented young microbiologist who just wants to be 'normal' survive? It's Nerds versus Narcissists as Kate Pearson begins "THAWING A.C. NIELSEN"! Brilliant young microbiologist and self-professed lab rat Kate Pearson has just landed her dream job, although she worries it might turn into a frozen nightmare. She's been hired to discover a way to successfully revive people who have been in cryonic deep-freeze stasis for years at the Chicago firm ExitStrategy, a company founded by scientist Mike "Cold Smokey" Burgess, holder of dozens of major patents. Kate is succeeding Dr. Enzo Saltieri, Mike's partner for years, who has died suddenly under strange circumstances. As Kate sifts through mountains of Saltieri's scribbled-upon legal pads she finds paths that lead nowhere. Was Saltieri on the verge of great discoveries or just sinking into the illogical world of dementia? Along the way, Kate has to deal with Miles Coleman, a sarcastic idiot savant assistant at the lab who's hiding his true identity; Gloria Dunham, a famous former Hollywood actress, now ninety years old and bent on taking over control of the company; plus reality show egomaniacs Dimi Konstantos and Khail Santana, megastars who've been polluting television's airwaves. After Kate has some success reviving lab animals frozen in the 1980s such as Mr. T, the guinea pig, and John Cougar, the housecat, her attention turns to the first human subject, famous TV ratings guru A.C. Nielsen, who has been frozen at ExitStrategy for twenty-five years. Between Mike Burgess's lofty expectations, hidden research files, secret medical procedures, switched identities, drugged drinks, randy Irish folk musicians, beefy bodyguards, plus Miles, Gloria, Dimi and Khail-Kate begins to realize that reviving A.C. Nielsen and accidentally discovering a cure for cancer may actually be a stroll in the park! "More twists than a bag of my gourmet Bavarian pretzels!" -Hans Sachs, Munchen Pretzel Werks "A guinea pig named Mr. T, a cat named John Cougar? The 80s rock again!" -some person who lived in the 80s "The characters are poorly developed, the plot unbelievable; but you'll love the punctuation!" -Sarah Gooseflesh, Schenectady Public Library "A total waste of your time! Enjoy!" -Ziggy Zneuzel, President, Procrastinators' International "As a top literary agent, I usually love cross-genre books. That is, until I read 'Thawing A.C. Nielsen'. Sci-fi, comedy, satire, medical Mystery plus guinea pigs? I think not!" -Natasha Fatale "Please read my son's book. I think it's pretty creative. I'm just sorry he wrote those racy parts." -Paul's mom"

• | Author: Paul Carey
• | Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
• | Publication Date: Sep 30, 2016
• | Number of Pages: 368 pages
• | Language: English
• | Binding: Paperback
• | ISBN-10: 1537127209
• | ISBN-13: 9781537127200