Bad Luck: In A Wakeful Contradiction

And just as faith with find one's doubt . . . A search within has left without. In a Wakeful Contradiction, the first installment in the Bad Luck Series, is a deeply personal and contemporary account of the journey through post-adolescence. Written in poetic prose, with hints of roller-coaster storytelling and spoken word, Bad Luck communicates powerfully. The stories within are told from multiple vantage points, and examine the concept of "the self," through positioning the author in a range of roles, varying from protagonist to antagonist, hero to villain, and the observed to the observer, interchangeably. The result is a collection of stories and experiences, penned in reflection of actions and consequences. As a whole, it recounts an individual's search for existential meaning and purpose, as a person attempting to live - and cope - in the 21st century. Born from a desire to give structure to an otherwise chaotic existence, the works within these pages were written over the course of seven years. Incorporating thematic elements of self-worth, faith, addiction, love, and cosmic (in)significance, In a Wakeful Contradiction attempts to answer some of the soul's most burning questions, one anecdote at a time. A Search WIthin Has Left Without (Title Piece from the Book) In a wakeful contradiction, it lays fact between my fiction. Tangling subatomics, it unravels as its tricks spin Deeper toward the outward. . . It won't let up, until I give in. Over matter, lay my mind. I tell a lie to pass the time. . . But there's no reason nor a rhyme - Less still, a purpose? I search for something to remind my mind That there is truth that isn't worthless. . . But as always, failure appears, in a sort-of amnesic continuity. And my reality lies to my own mind Just as well, as it succeeds in its futility. With destruction as its manifest, It tells me that I stand my tallest upon two buckled knees. And just as faith will find one's doubt - A search within has left without. It seems that an answer, once sought out, Will be left lacking its question. My truth divides itself, as the product of infinite misdirection. I try to substitute a reason for a rhyme; But, with no lies left to pass the time. . . I swallow a dose of ignorance. It goes down smoother than the truth. In a war that started with a truce, This world betrayed my faith to show me That I'm only tall enough, once I've been cut down slowly. A pill too large to swallow - I think I'm choking on myself. Or the irony of asking: "How could I be so careless?" Here I stand, barely standing, consumed almost entirely By my own dry-heaving self-awareness. . . Each night, I'm left to fight the fears that my nightmares create; I'm still running from my past and haunted by my fate. They walk beside me always. Shadowing wholeheartedly, They exist as a duality, both apart from, and a part of me. My ghosts have taught me very little, aside from what I hate. But, I've come to learn not to fear the forceful hands of fate. For I shudder not, at the thought of destiny, Or the inevitable in time. Instead, I fear the eventuality of the choices That were solely, and entirely, mine. I fear that my will may be of enough influence alone, That fate itself may collapse beneath decisions like my own. . . Or that I, myself, might be constructing What destruction I will find Among my shattered spirits and convictions, In these depths to which I climb.

• | Author: B L
• | Publisher: Independently published
• | Publication Date: October 3, 2019
• | Number of Pages: 63 pages
• | Language: English
• | Binding: Paperback
• | ISBN-10: 1691941182
• | ISBN-13: 9781691941186