An Ode to Sherri: An Open Letter to the Love of My Life

Comedian Bill Kilpatrick writes this open love letter to his wife, Sherri, who has been his muse and his mate for 32 years. He walks us through an odyssey that started in his childhood - with dreams of his wife - that culminated in a whirlwind romance. A born romantic, Bill popped the question on his fifth date in five days but it was Sherri who led the way as the two crossed a continent to find each other and build a home in Florida. Weathering hurricanes, tornadoes, death, hardships and career changes, these two found a way to stay together. This is a book for anyone who believes in the redemptive power of love and the soothing winterfresh taste of Bill's halfwit sense of humor. If you like good comedy, this is not the book for you. But if you like good love - because we all like good love - you can't afford not to read this book. This book will not cure every disease, but if you're suffering from a disease called loneliness, it will definitely point the way to better books. Four out of five dentists surveyed recommended this book to their patients who still read. If that's not a testimonial, I don't know what is because, to be honest, I really don't know what one is. This is a book for those believe that happiness is possible as well as for those who have enough money to buy it. If Deepak Chopra were here to talk about this book, he would probably wonder how he got here. I have it on good authority that Abraham Lincoln loved this book. In fact, it was the last book he read before deciding it was time to see a play. My dog has never read this book but I watched him as I was writing it and he seemed to scratch less when I read him my favorite parts. This book could literally change your outlook on whether you buy any more books without asking someone who has read it first. This is a great book to read in the bathroom as long as you don't read it in the shower. This book will not cause tooth decay unless you use it to do the drinking game but with chocolate. No animals were harmed in the making of this book unless you consider wood pulp an animal. It should be noted, however, that Bill shaved before writing this book, so some animals were affected. It is not recommended that you read this book while riding a roller coaster. It is also not recommended that you bring this book with you into a cage full of lions, tigers or bears (oh my). No part of this book contains asbestos or cocaine residue. This book is not illegal in Tajikistan. No assembly is required. Batteries are not included, nor are they recommended. This book will probably not disturb some viewers. Okay, maybe it will disturb some viewers. Use only as directed. See a doctor if itching persists more than six months. This book is not available on Mars. If you are in a marching band, some assembly is obviously required. This book will not tell you who to vote for president, as long as you weren't pulling for Newt Gingrich. The FDA has not made any recommendations regarding this book. If you find a woman like Sherri, marry her. Void where prohibited. Also, prohibited where void. Warning: This book is flammable if tossed into an open flame. Not recommended as a substitute for toilet paper. May cause drowsiness. Not actual size. Your mileage may vary. If this book makes you think, see a teacher. This book is sold as-is. Do not try this at home. Do not try this at work. Do not try this at church. Do not try this during jury selection. Some details apply. Actually, all details apply. This book was not filmed before a studio audience. No celebrity impersonators were used. None of the statements in this book should be taken at face value. If plastic straws are outlawed, only outlaws will have plastic straws. Some people are dumber than they look. Electricity turns me on. Your chances of liking this book are greater than your chances of winning the lottery, but only marginally. Ducks are dinosaurs without museums.

• | Author: Bill Kilpatrick
• | Publisher: Independently published
• | Publication Date: Sep 16, 2019
• | Number of Pages: 71 pages
• | Language: English
• | Binding: Paperback
• | ISBN-10: 1693463059
• | ISBN-13: 9781693463051