I Laugh Now So Not to Cry

This is the story of a very shy boy who took 65 years to become a loving person and husband. Maybe it was his ego or his mind keeping him from doing things that most men do easily. He was the 13th of 14 children so maybe it was because his own parents were too busy trying to "live life and provide for so many children" to show him any affection. He was an unusually sensitive child, letting boyhood events affect his self-esteem and outlook on life from childhood through puberty and even affecting his adult relationships. He came from an Irish and German background. The traits he inherited helped him survive his childhood by putting up safe walls and barriers of defense.He was affected by his baldness at age 22, which made him even more shy. He never made a lifelong friend. He had a hard time expressing his feelings of love to his wife and even his 5 daughters. He seemed to be self absorbed, concentrating on what he needed and what he lacked. But like a cat with nine lives, he always seemed to escape injuries and life's hard knocks. After a mill injury and thoughts of suicide a new person started to emerge at age 50 and his personality started to change.At age 65 his loving wife had 2 very bad strokes. He was to spend the next 6 years as her 24 hour 7 day a week care giver. During that time he became the man his wife had always hoped and prayed he would become. He found the true meaning of love in caring for her day after day. He told her he loved her but by then she was in her own little world. But who is to say she never knew what happened to him, the metamorphosis that took place as he cared for her? Who is to say she didn't hear and understand how he had changed but couldn't let him know by a sign or expression? Only God knows the answer. By caring for her and only thinking of her needs continually, he lost his own shyness, depression, and self indulgence. He stopped worrying about himself and concentrated on others around him. He found he had a heart for other people and their needs. He learned to love life and laugh at himself. This man knows that the his former self is still inside him and he must fight to keep that person hidden. He now looks back at his life and finds humor in the things that happened to him. So now he laughs so not to cry.

• | Author: Robert R. Sullivan
• | Publisher: Independently published
• | Publication Date: Jan 11, 2019
• | Number of Pages: 153 pages
• | Language: English
• | Binding: Paperback
• | ISBN-10: 1793889279
• | ISBN-13: 9781793889270